Wednesday, December 26, 2007

the morning after...

and so some of the lights have already come down. C's son left to visit his Dad Sunday morning so we had our Christmas Sat night. I did get biking gloves as well as a pair for wearing to work. There were other gifts but those were the two I wanted. C liked the tickets I got for her but was obviously underwhelmed with the rest of my offerings. And in all honesty they were an underwhelming collection of one night out shopping. Oh, there were a few extra treats, small things, things that didn't seem to matter. Even our upcoming trip away seemed to fall flat. I will be out of town this weekend and she wanted the tree & interior decorations down before he got back so we spent yesterday afternoon taking things down, packing them away, and I hauled them up to her attic. We caught a movie and had dinner with her Mom before I headed home. The highlight of the holiday weekend was going for a bike ride early Christmas Eve morning, then taking the dogs for a walk that afternoon while she went into work, driving up to see my folks and nieces/nephews Sun while she headed to the airport. It suddenly seemed that most of the enjoyable moments were ones we were apart. Not that we had an awful time. There were moments, but all in all there was one too many comment about the (very real) impositions of having a house guest over for a long holiday weekend and one too many moments when I wasn't saying or doing what someone who was head over heels in love would say or do. Mainly because I was busy pouting over the lack of appreciation. Which is cruel. Her only child is away for a week and while she complains about him as much as she does me I know she misses him. Still at some point... well, at some point you either lay back and enjoy looking at the lights or you take them down.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

sleep tight









e y es


dr EAmS



Monday, December 17, 2007

dream - twilight zone

The dream begins with me out on property that I own. (don't really own). I am walking with someone, showing them the large pond bordered by a favorite tree, now bare, in which is perched a red bird. During our conversation I become aware I need to get to my house. I simply sit down and somehow slide back to the house - some sort of slip and slide but amazingly I do not get wet. When I arrive I dress for work but then decide to walk into town to get something first. In real life I catch the bus into the city before daybreak but in the dream the sun is already high in the sky as I hike the sidewalk into some small town. I head into a Super Walmart, which is full of thousands of people each pushing a shopping cart as if they are in desperate search for something and yet every shelf is empty. Just wall to wall shoppers, shiny shopping carts and completely bare shelves. I walk out, pass the gas pumps and only then does the camera pull back (until now I've been seeing everything through my eyes) and exhibit that I am walking in my dress shoes, wearing business black slacks and an undershirt. (so I suppose I was shopping for a dress shirt but why at Walmart and why I didn't drive is beyond me). As I start back for home I realize I am going to be late and berate myself for not driving to the store. I enter my home and Act I of the dream ends.
Whether I awoke for a moment or simply rolled over in my sleep I don't know but there certainly seemed to be some time that elapsed between that act and the following scene.
I am entertaining a large group of people in an urban apartment which appears to be mine. Everyone is dressed in formal attire. I am greeting folks, walking through my place, past all the Reimbrants, the Dalis,... until I get to the kitchen. There I sample a few items, offer some advice to the chefs and then set out to check on my guests. As I step out of the kitchen someone stops me and asks about a painting that is hanging beside us. I smile and say that the artist was no one but that the painting appealed to me. I actually found it somewhere and hung it in that spot so that normally I would be the only person to see it. Suddenly the dream angle shifts and instead of me being the lens, the camera pulls back, away from the unknown visitor and myself. We glance at the painting again and move into the living room. The camera pulls closer to the painting until it reveals a rough drawing of a pond, a single bare tree bordering it, in which is perched a red bird.

The end.

How and why the dream came full circle to the same scene amazes me. It was a very vivid dream, although I never could clearly see anyone's face. Or at least I didn't recognize anyone there. The property could be similar to land my parents own. They have a pond that developed a leak and is now dry. There is no solitary tree and I'm clueless as to what the red bird represents. I never entertain, have less than a handful of friends close enough that I would even think of inviting into my house, which is located in suburbia and contains only copies of Wythe's works. strange.

On a humorous note, I taped two gift cards to the top of the trash can before setting it out this morning. When I returned home I was a bit miffed to see the envelopes laying in the yard (why wouldn't the sanitation crew have thrown the envelopes in with the trash) Closer inspection proved that the gift cards were still in the envelopes. They had simply emptied the trash can and tossed the can, along with the gift cards back into the front yard. So now the question is whether to give them a second chance or pass the cards along randomly to someone else.

Lastly, upon returning home yesterday I was greeted by a letter from a medical office I had used a couple of years ago. Turns out a 'former employee' of theirs had been charged with stealing personal data from files and using it to obtain credit for herself. It gave me the number of an officer in charge of the investigation and advised me to contact credit agencies and wished me a good day. Kind of a "hey just wanted to let you know that we might have facilitied in screwing you over pretty good but no hard feelings and have a nice day" letter. I called the credit agency and the lady was very helpful. Although I was amused to learn from her that she had overspent for Christmas and was concerned about the debt she had incurred. Seemed a bit ironic.


Thursday, December 13, 2007

It can't be mid Dec already again...

The youngest niece had her birthday last weekend so I am through with family/friend birthdays for the year and ready to focus on Christmas. (which yes I understand is technically another birthday) The tree is up. I didn't put one up the first year after the divorce and the whole holiday season felt, well, un-festive. Every year since, regardless of what is going on in life I make sure the tree is up. It may seem silly. I suppose I've spent all but one Christmas morning in someone else's house, my parents, my former in-laws, or relatives. Yet it is nice having the tree up here, the lights flickering, all a pointless jesture but it still feels right. The temps have been in the mid 70's until today so it doesn't feel like December yet. Life has been hectic, work, relationship, fighting some bug, nearly knocking myself out while helping rake leaves (yes I am that uncoordinated) I am Charlie Brown trying to kick that silly football that Lucy [a bit of personal irony that her name begins with an L eh?] :) will pull out from under me. My back is fine, it's the knees that are killing me.

Oh well, Deck Us All with Boston Charlie! (bonus brownie points to anyone who gets that one)

Happy Holidays Part I